This last week or so, every day seemed to bring a new finding about something linked to autism. I blogged one of them—diabetes—but who really would have the wherewithal to follow the growing list of factors linked to autism? I guess I would because below, I give you that very list, including current pop hits and some blasts from the past, with some brief commentary. Without further ado—The ever-changing face of autism—or, as some have wisely suggested we call it—the autisms:
- Refrigerator mothers. Sooo coooold.
- Parents just making shit up. Because we have nothing better to do with our time.
- Vaccines. SHUT. UP.
- Mercury. Sigh.
- “Environmental” chemicals. Hmmm.
- The Interwebz. Someone pointed to them. Then there was autism.
- Older fathers. Paging Father Abraham.
- Older mothers. We can only be so old, you know.
- Depressed or stressed mothers. Wouldn’t everyone have autism, then?
- Prematurity
- Sib with autism. Autism, family style.
- Low birthweight. OK, but what about…
- High birthweight. Confusing, isn’t it?
- Growing a big head. My son has the biggest head I’ve ever seen…except for my own.
- Growing a big baby. My oldest son is huge. He also has an uncle who is 6’6″.
- Being a twin. Concordance confuses people.
- Smoking during pregnancy. Is there anything smoking during pregnancy can’t fuck up?
- Diabetes during pregnancy. Didn’t have it, so don’t know.
- Any complication at birth. And I mean…ANY complication.
- Being born in summer. Yep. Seasonal autism.
- Being a second born. First borns, only borns … sorry.
- Being a later born. As if it weren’t hard enough.
- Being in a womb. When will we ever have extra utero development!
- IVF. But we do have in vitro fertilization.
- Being born close together.
- Lungs with symmetrical bronchiole bifurcations. For once, someone blames symmetry.
- Immune system gone awry.
- Genes AND the immune system gone awry — in the mother. I’m sure that’s what made us cold.
- Genes. Lots and lots of genes. If I listed them all, this would be an epic post.
- Neanderthals (not really; just more genes)
- Hyperinuslinemia and diabetes. Hypothesis, not study.
- Impaired brain connections. Ya think?
- Impaired sugar metabolism. This goes on the assumption that GI problems in autistic people differ from those in non-autistic people.
- Biomarkers. Lots and lots of biomarkers. This one’s the Jackson Pollock of studies.
- Clomid. Mom’s fault for wanting you.
- Terbutaline. This is related to prematurity.
- Glycine something about glycine.
You know the modern art that you stare at, trying to figure out why it’s supposed to be art? This is the science version of that. - Mitochondrial disorders.
- Regulation above the gene (epigenetics). Because no gene is an island or an unsullied, perfectly used code.
- Living near a freeway. There goes the nation.
- Specific facial features. Elves.
- Specific finger features. My fingers tell me I’m male or a lesbian. I am neither.
- Specific physical features.
- Special brain differences. Ya think?
- Too little oxytocin. Oh, oxytocin. You weird little hormone, you.
- Too much androgen. Viva la…el…hormone!
- Too much androgen… or too little estrogen? OK, so this one’s my own contribution. A gal’s gotta contribute.
- Too much money. We wish.
- Lyme disease. Tick, tock, not.
- Antidepressants.
See “stress, depression” above. If you’re an autism parent and this list didn’t do you in, congratulations on how well those anti-depressants are working. - And, of course, Peppa Pig.
