Siddharth (“Sid”) Ramaswamy is a student at University of California, Santa Cruz, majoring in Music. He is on the autism spectrum, communicates with an AAC device, and attends college with an aide. Siddharth has been a student of South Indian Classical Music (also known as Carnatic Music) on the violin for more than ten years. His goal is to become a musician and a music teacher someday. He hopes to make music more accessible to all.
I met Sid when he performed at the 2024 Stanford Neurodiversity Summit, was entranced by his music and talent, and wanted to know more about his life and experiences.
Shannon Rosa: How did you become a speller, and how old were you when you were introduced to spelling?
Siddharth (“Sid”) Ramaswamy: As an individual on the autism spectrum, I struggle with speech. I remember that when I was about three or four years old, I felt as though words spoken by others were buzzing in my head but somehow, I could not respond to them. My parents took me to various doctors and therapists to try to improve my verbal communication skills. In an attempt to find the right educational fit for my learning style, I was made to try different schools. Unfortunately, all of them judged me on the basis of my unreliable verbal skills and denied me age-appropriate education. Finally, my parents decided to homeschool me. Even this system was a struggle for me, until the age of fourteen when my mother discovered spelling as a method for communication.
In October 2014, we traveled to Austin to attend a training workshop. It turned out to be an eye-opening and emotional experience for our whole family. For the first time, I was able to communicate my thoughts well. This fateful week was the turning point in my life and I am most grateful for all the opportunities that have been opened as a result of this unique method of communication.
Rosa: What would you like people to know about the process of learning to spell? Were there any parts of the process that made you frustrated?
Ramaswamy: Spelling now come very naturally to me but the initial process of learning to communicate with the help of this method was difficult for me and my mother (the first aide who began working with me). Since two people are required to make this process work (the person spelling and the aide who takes the words down), a balanced rapport between the two has to be achieved. It is similar to learning to dance where initially the dancers could be stepping on each other’s toes, but with practice we can achieve speed and efficiency. It took us nearly two years and several sessions with the experts to refine our technique. It has been nine years since I first began spelling and with daily practice and guidance I have come to a point where I can write college level essays.
Rosa: I believe you have been playing classical Indian violin since before you became a speller. What lure did the violin have for you? How did your lessons proceed, and were you able to make yourself understood during those lessons?
Ramaswamy: For as long as I can remember, music has been an integral part of my life. My paternal grandfather and my father are both musicians and they introduced me to Carnatic music (South Indian classical music) at a very young age. My family has been fortunate to have a close relationship with the world-renowned Carnatic violinist, Maestro Lalgudi Jayaraman. My father was blessed to have been a student of his. Perhaps, this is why my father began to teach me to vocal music even before I could learn to speak. He would use every little opportunity such as car rides or running errands to introduce me to different aspects of Carnatic music. Perhaps, both of us were encouraged by the fact that I experienced no impairment in this form of expression. Instinctively, I came to understand my speech impairment did not come into play where music was concerned and it was one area where I could prove my potential and my intelligence to the world around me.
Also, even though my speech is described as unreliable, even as a young child I was able to speak some Tamil (my native language) and it was enough for us to proceed with music lessons with my father.
[Video: Sid performs on the violin while seated on a brown rug.]
Rosa: How were you able to persevere through the early learning when the violin sounds were not always lovely? Did you experience any sensory issues with occasional dissonant sounds? If so, how did you cope?
Ramaswamy: My parents could tell that I had a natural talent for music, yet learning to play the violin was a difficult endeavor. To begin with, I had issues with visual perception and could not place the violin’s bow parallel to the bridge. Also, autism has given me some auditory sensitivity. This can sometimes make simple everyday sounds like the running of water from a shower faucet, or the whirring of a fan can seem unusually disconcerting to me. Fortunately, the initial dissonant notes produced during my early attempts at playing the violin did not cause any auditory overload.
To overcome the issue of depth perception, I practiced in front of a mirror to be able to learn the correct bow placement. Another sensory issue I struggled with was not being able to distinguish the amount of pressure that needs to be applied in order to produce soft or loud notes from the violin strings. I still struggle with this. With years of continual practice, I was able to make good progress. Maybe listening to the music of great violinists inspires me to persevere in my own musical journey.
Rosa: Do you think there are any parallels between your learning to spell and your learning to play the violin, in terms of motor skills or any other area?
Ramaswamy: In contrast with the experience of neurotypical people who can generally multitask with ease, the brain-body disconnect is more pronounced in a subset of autistic individuals. This disconnect is what necessitates us to use spelling as an alternate form of communication.
As far as music is concerned, students who follow the Carnatic tradition are first taught to sing a composition while simultaneously keeping the rhythmic beat with their hand. Keeping up this level of coordination was initially a herculean task for me but with practice I learned how to first sing each composition and then reproduce it on the violin. The nuances of the Carnatic style involves complex fingering while keeping the brain engaged the entire time to achieve perfect execution. Looking back, I now feel that compared to this, learning to spell to communicate was much easier. Once I got the hang of it, it provided me with the right tool to circumvent my unreliable speech and make word retrieval much easier.
Rosa: You can speak sometimes. Is it OK to ask why speaking is not a reliable communication method for you?
Ramaswamy: This is an interesting yet difficult question to answer. It provoked me to think a little deeper into the dichotomy between my verbal expression versus spelling. If anyone strikes up a conversation with me (especially if it’s in English), it would take them little time to figure out that my language skills appear to be simplistic and that I struggle to hold a detailed conversation on any given topic. This verbal inability is not just restricted to an academic discussion. I face such challenges even in a social setting where someone could be talking about something as casual as a TV show. Yet, this does not extend to circumstances where I rely on spelling to communicate my thoughts. This is why spelling has opened the world to me. Without this tool, attending a college such as University of California Santa Cruz would have remained a dream for me.
Over time I have come to realize that my verbal skills are affected by my inability to retrieve the appropriate words, and I end up giving inaccurate responses (which do not adequately express my thoughts). Thus even though I am able to speak in both Tamil and English, my spoken language is limited and inconsistent. However, when I am spelling, word retrieval is easy for me and my robust and fluent language skills emerge when I use a letter board (with the support of a trained aide). This is the mode I use at college and I am capable of formulating and expressing complex concepts and ideas with it.
Some professionals in the field of special education believe that given their restricted verbal abilities, individuals on the autism spectrum should only be exposed to one language. However, my own experience has been very different. Over time I have come to realize that I have a natural gift for languages. For instance, I’m fluent in English and Tamil (my native tongue). Also, for the last two years, I have also been learning Sanskrit. This effort has come in collaboration with my maternal grandmother. Since she lives in India and I’m in California, we use zoom to work on these lessons. For now this arrangement has worked well, but further on we may need to make some changes when we enter into more complex parts of this ancient language.
In addition, in high school I had to fulfill a language requirement and for that I took Spanish courses for two years. I thoroughly enjoyed the exposure to a new language and was fascinated by its sounds and logical grammar rules. This love for languages has led me to pursue a minor in linguistics in college.
Given the details of my experience with a variety of languages, you may be able to see that my neurological disconnect lies in simultaneously being able to process my thoughts and express them verbally. This unreliability of speech has nothing to do with my intellectual abilities to understand concepts or communicate my thoughts through language.
Rosa: You are now a junior at UC Santa Cruz, studying music. What parts of being at the university do you like best? What other comments do you have about your University experience?
Ramaswamy: Attending a college has definitely been a rewarding, yet challenging experience for me. Being part of a large classroom setting (since my high school setting consisted of exclusively one-on-one teaching), navigating my way in a large campus and learning an entirely new form of music (Western classical), have all been big challenges for me. Over time, I have come to love and appreciate college life, be it our beautiful campus, the accommodating professors or friendly and helpful classmates. I still struggle with not being able to form friendships. However, this is not something I dwell upon because I’d rather focus on the inclusive and enriching educational experience that UCSC has offered me.
Rosa: Would you like to give a message to non-speaking and minimally speaking people (and their families) about hope and perseverance?
Ramaswamy: My message to others on the spectrum is simply this—follow your passion and never give up. Each of us has a passion or a talent, so nurture it and work on it. It may take us longer to achieve our goals, but the sense of accomplishment is worth the effort.
Also, to all the teachers, I would like to say—believe in us! Please don’t assess our potential based entirely on our outward behavior or what we may not be able to say verbally. There is a lot more under the surface than you might initially see, so have faith in our abilities and then watch us rise up to meet your expectations.
