On Snowstorms and Planning for the Future

Elise aka aspergers2mom  asd2mom.blogspot.com As I sit here at my desk and stare out at our sixth major snow storm since Christmas, I have been contemplating our life’s next adventure: my son HSB’s entrance into college. And just the other day hubby — that Wise Old Sage — reminded me of some things he feels are important, things he wants parents of young children on the autism spectrum to know: Trust your instinct. If things are not right, they are not right. Whether at school, or just in general. Don’t listen when the school tells you how great your child is doing socially, academically, or emotionally. Watch what is really going on, don’t just take their word for it. Children make improvements, sure, but are they really improvements that would allow them to be independent when that yellow bus stops coming to your door? The schools also provide terrific support,…

Raising Asperger’s Kids: Generalizing the Specifics

Elise aka aspergers2mom asd2mom.blogspot.com A primary issue for children on the autism spectrum is generalization: the ability to take what they learn from one situation and apply it in a totally different scenario. The scenarios may not even be all that different, but introduce a new dynamic or remove a familiar item, and the child can get thrown off kilter and lose the resources they just learned. It’s similar to the issues my younger son, HSB, has in math. When given a math formula and the appropriate number equivalents for the algebraic letters, he is able to apply the formula and even understands the reasoning and purpose. But if he is required to take that formula and apply in an unfamiliar word problem or with an unfamiliar set of numbers, he will get lost. He is not able to generalize the specific information that he learned for that math equation.…

Don’t Yell. Embrace Your “Inner Bitch” Instead.

Elise, A.K.A. aspergers2mom asd2mom.blogspot.com   We have all heard the stories. That mother who just won’t listen when administrators talk about her child, the parent they delegitimize because she got frustrated and yelled at them, the one who thinks she knows her child best. So what do you do if you are faced with a problematic situation? How do you channel your frustrations to get your child the services they need? It wasn’t until I was in my forties that I learned that you need to do what you need to do for your kids — who cares what others think? This is what I call “embracing your inner bitch.” Now, embracing your inner bitch is a good thing. You use your frustration and your anger to motivate you, but you do so in a way that is calm, intelligent, and very thought-out. You leave the yelling and the kvetching…

We Fight the Fights That are Worth Fighting

Elise, A.K.A. aspergers2mom asd2mom.blogspot.com  Fifteen years ago, my oldest son was diagnosed with PDD-NOS (Pervasive Developmental Disorder, Not Otherwise Specified). At the time, we had no idea what kind of future he would have — if he would have at a future at all. Autism was not even a word on anyone’s lips at the time; no one was talking about it and no one was even acknowledging the epidemic that it was becoming. Luckily, I had a cousin whose son had been diagnosed years earlier and I called him for some advice. The best thing that he ever said to me and what I pass on to others is: Do not project the future for your child. Take each day, each moment if necessary, and do what needs to be done at that time. Then one day you will look back and see how far your child has come.…