Brenda Rothman mamabegood.blogspot.com An adult’s response to an autistic child’s upset is the single, most important factor in whether the child’s upset is escalated or calmed. We must remain calm. We must understand — at a gut level — that the child’s reaction — whether to yell, hit, bite, or flail — is frustration and that is all. As “disorientation is one of the least bearable of all psychological experiences” (Neufeld & Maté), we must understand that children are disoriented by their emotions, frustrated by communication. It is not personal. It is not hate. It is merely frustration. When we begin to feel overwhelming emotions in response to our children’s actions — like sadness, upset, anger, fear, or resentment — we need to calm ourselves for the immediate moment. However you need to do that — by breathing, talking to yourself, repeating a mantra. For the long term, you will…