maxsparrowsoup-6436467

Labels Are Valuable Tools

Maxfield Sparrow unstrangemind.com There’s something that kind-hearted and well-meaning people say that can hurt. And it usually goes like this: “Let’s go around the circle and introduce ourselves.” “Hi, my name is Max. I’m a writer, artist, musician, and public speaker. I live in a van with my cat, Fermat, and I am Autistic.” “Oh, Max, I don’t think you should call yourself autistic. Labels are for soup cans, not people! You’re such a sweet, intelligent man. You don’t need to use that label on yourself any more. We all accept you here. You’re just like us and seem totally normal to us. Don’t label yourself.” [Image description: A bowl of alphabet soup with the word “Autistic” made of alphabet noodles floating in it.] The person who says “Don’t label yourself“ is trying to be progressive and enlightened and kind and accepting. It is so hard to tell them that…

10827896_10152752348778650_2803264832537980337_o-3137762

Things That Are Useful: Neurodiversity Tees

[Image description: Close up of a black t-shirt with a blue and green combined brain/planet earth illustration, with the word “NEURODIVERSITY” under it. Worn by a partially visible teen boy with beige skin and gray shorts.] My son chooses his outfits each day with care and deliberation, and an eye for specific color combinations. One of his favorite shirts is a  Neurodiversity tee, which ranks second only to the Catbus tee in terms of “if it is not clean there will be much sadness and reiteration of sadness so please just make sure it is clean.” For those unfamiliar with Neurodiversity, it is a pride-tinged term used by folks in the autism and autistic communities to describe themselves: “The idea of neurodiversity was developed by autistic people in opposition to the pathologizing model. According to them autistic people are not disordered. They have a different sort of order. Their brains…

pascal1-5440165

Conversations Between Autistic Self-Advocates and Autism Parents – Part 2

Self-Advocate Elizabeth (Ibby) Grace’s blog Tiny Grace Notes is subtitled “Ask an Autistic,” and that is exactly what people do — solicit Autistic insights from her. We asked if we could republish a recent conversation Ibby had with Tina, an autism parent — to show that these conversations do happen, that they can be fruitful, and in the hopes that more such exchanges will happen. This is part 2 of 2. We recommend reading Part 1 first, for context. —- Tina writes: I’ll try to answer your questions. I’m glad you asked all these questions. I dont know how many I can answer but am trying to answer them. J likes pizza, it’s the only thing he’ll eat. He strips the cheese off, eats that first then licks the tomato sauce off then scrapes the soft doughy part with his teeth and leaves the outer crust and what’s left of…

Conversations Between Autistic Self-Advocates and Autism Parents – Part 1

Self-Advocate Elizabeth (Ibby) Grace’s blog Tiny Grace Notes is subtitled “Ask an Autistic,” and that is exactly what people do — solicit Autistic insights from her. We asked if we could republish a recent conversation Ibby had with Tina, an autism parent — to show that these conversations do happen, that they can be fruitful, and in the hopes that more such exchanges will happen. This is part 1 of 2. —- Tina: I have a question. I have a severely disabled son. He is nonverbal, is still in diapers, has self harming behaviors, hits himself in the face repeatedly and eats with his hands. I doubt he will ever progress to the point of living independently. I just can’t imagine that ever happening as he’s already 12 years old and only in the last year has he indicated that he understands what I mean when I ask him if…

‘Head-Banging’ Is About as Funny as ‘Retard’

Kristina Chew autism.typepad.com Kristina blogs about parenting her teenage son Charlie at the URL above. This post was one of Kristina’s recent daily dispatches. We just got through one of those begins-with-whacking-the-corner-of-the-iPad on the bedroom wall storms, though several degrees less bad than the one Charlie had the night before he went back to school, almost exactly a month ago. He called and called for his iPad after things were over but (powdery with plaster dust from the wall), the iPad remains on the brown chair: As we told Charlie, he needs to sleep first then he can have it. It is past 2am and I want to take one fast glance at some things pertaining to Herodotus but I just wanted to say something I’ve had on my mind for years: I really get all-out annoyed when people make references to head-banging and head-bangers and head-smack-on-desk and that sort…

Scarred

Kate We are scarred, we adults on the spectrum. We are scarred, both inside and out. Our lives are twisted paths littered with diagnoses. We have fought for years to get to where we are now, and still it isn’t good enough. We are scarred. We went to schools where there was no help. Sometimes we were shunted into special education rooms, or to the behavior-problems division. There we were taught that we were ‘stupid,’ ‘retarded,’ that we would never amount to anything. We were accused of cheating when we read so well but couldn’t write an essay, drew complex diagrams yet failed math. We were denied entry into higher-level classes because we didn’t appear to be smart or participating in class, and our minds thirsted in vain for more knowledge. We went to therapies, all sorts of therapies. Look at this ink blot, what do you see? I see…

I Can Do RAD All By Myself

Amanda Forest Vivian adeepercountry.blogspot.com I was born in 1988 to a rich white family on the East Coast of the United States of America. For those keeping track, I was diagnosed with PDD-NOS when I was nine and Asperger’s when I was fourteen — but all that really tells you about me is that I was born in 1988 to a rich white family on the East Coast of the United States of America. By the time I was 18, I had been undiagnosed many times by people both qualified and unqualified to do so; and after a brief flirtation with Autistic culture I soon succumbed to the implications of the types of praise and encouragement young disabled people often receive. When we succeed we’re told that we’re not really disabled or that we’re different from other disabled people. The idea of being a real average disabled person becomes unacceptable.…

stimey-9740109

Coming Out Autistic at BlogHer

Jean Winegardner @stimey So I am at BlogHer. And it is crazy and wonderful and overwhelming and fun and some of my favorite people are here and I have a lot to say about it and photos to post, but I have something rumbling around that I have to get out. I’ve been thinking a lot about my own autism at this conference. Partly because of my social and sensory issues, but also because autism is so central to what I write about. When people meet you at BlogHer, they ask what you write about. I usually say, “I write a humor blog about autism and rodents,” partly because it’s true and partly because it’s funny to see people try to digest that information. I usually follow up with, “I have a son with autism.” This year, however, when I’ve said that, it has felt less honest. This is because…