Talking About Sex With Young Adults With Autism

Laura Shumaker www.laurashumaker.com The morning of May 22, 2006, I set my alarm for 4 a.m. I wanted to be the first one to wish Matthew a happy birthday. He was in a college program at Camphill Soltane near Philadelphia. Matthew answered the house telephone on the first ring. He knew I would call. “Matthew!” I said. “You’re 20! Can you believe it?” “Yes,” he responded flatly. “But Mom? I have something very important to ask you. I’ve been thinking about Amy. Can we go see her?” Matthew had met Amy three years before during his first year at Camphill. Like Matthew, Amy has autism. The staff at the school had told us that they liked each other a lot and we were thrilled; since Matthew’s diagnosis years ago, we grieved at the thought of him living a solitary life. By the time Matthew became interested in girls, he picked…

Autism and Orgasm

Lindsey Nebeker nakedbrainink.com One of my blog readers who is on the autism spectrum brought up a concern regarding recent  bedroom issues. This person is finding that the process of achieving orgasm has become increasingly difficult: “[Since learning more about my ASD diagnosis] I’ve been noticing a growing awareness in what is going on around me and what my body is feeling … and it is becoming sort of distracting during sex, mainly orgasm. As I began to feel my self start to climax I suddenly became very focused on the noises and things in the room such as the fan running, and how the moving air felt on my skin. Then I suddenly became overwhelmed with my body itself, to the point that it took away the orgasm. I focused intensely on how the sheets felt against my skin, how my partner’s skin felt on mine, how my hands…

So What’s the Fascination With Autism and Sex?

Lindsey Nebeker nakedbrainink.com A slight uncomfortable laughter was shared among the crowd of mothers sitting in a circle as one mother said quietly, “I’m really trying to avoid bringing up the topic of sex to my son. I hope that day doesn’t come up soon.” This was during a recent speaking engagement I gave to a parent support group. I arranged for all of us to sit around in a circle since the group was small enough to pull that off. I often find that with circle-style seating, the conversation becomes more open-ended, and I hear more from my audience. And the conversation can get very interesting — such as when it turns into a conversation about autism and sex. I was tempted to chuckle at the level of discomfort these mothers had in linking the words “autism” and “sex,” but kept to myself and gave a quiet smile. I…