This month we’re asking our autistic community members What Do You Want? What Do You Need?
We’re featuring their answers all April long, right here. Today
we’re having a conversation with autistic parent advocate Jean Winegardner and her autistic son Jack. Please read, listen, and share.
Note from Jean: “I told Jack (he’s almost 11 years old) about Autism Acceptance Month and explained that some people wanted me to interview him about his autism to publish on a website. He was totally on board and even went so far as to dictating the punctuation I typed as he answered. In case you couldn’t figure it out, he’s super into cats these days.”
What are some things you like people to know about you?
I love cats. And I think they are cute.
What are some things that make you happy?
Well, I was thinking about kittens and they make me happy because I love cuddling with them. Also my friends because I like playing with them.
What are some things you avoid whenever possible? Why?
I. Avoid. Any. Means. Of. Losing. My. Cat.
What features does your ideal living space have, and why?
I would have anything I would want such as a plasma TV and a guinea pig cage and playhouse. I want a treehouse with a helicopter pad and elevator.
What are your favorite books, movies, and/or TV shows?
My favorite movie is The Lego Movie. Oh, and also Spaceballs. (I like the part where Dark Helmet says, “I knew it. I’m surrounded by A**holes!”)
What autistic experiences would you like to see more of, when it comes to storytelling efforts like books, movies, and/or TV shows?
I would like to see them because I want to know if they have cats.
What are some things you’d like the media and other people to stop saying about autistic people?
Stop staying losing cats is no big deal.
If you could change one thing to make the world more friendly to autistic people, what would it be?
To delete arliophobia, allergies to cats, and to make more cats.
Note from Jean: “I’m going to be honest here; I’m not sure Jack knows yet about ableism and that some people see autism as a bad thing. These are definitely things he needs to learn about, but I think I’m okay that this particular evil doesn’t live in his life yet. For now, he’s mostly concerned about injustice toward cats. Also, I can’t find a definition for “arliophobia” anywhere, but Jack says it is ‘fear of cats.’ I answered these questions too, but my answers are way less fun.”
What are some things you like people to know about you?
I live in Maryland with my husband and three kids (one of those is Jack, whom you met above). I got my autism diagnosis a couple of years ago and have been proud to try to be a positive, autistic role model for my kiddo since then — although, honestly, a lot of the time, he’s a positive, autistic role model for me. I like to laugh. I hate confrontation. I have a really hard time stepping into arguments when I’m not with my safe people, but I have the utmost respect for those who can and do in order to stand up for what is right. My family is the most important thing in the world to me. Like Jack, I enjoy cats. (We have three.)
What are some things that make you happy?
Running. Furry animals. Sitting with pillows and blankets on top of me. My kiddos and my husband. Reading. Naps. There are a lot of things in this world that make me very happy. I struggle with depression a lot, but it is so nice to know that there are a lot of very good things in this world.
What are some things you avoid whenever possible? Why?
I have a lot of sensory aversions, so there are a whole slew of things that I avoid, a lot of which are tactile and auditory. I also tend to avoid one-on-one in-person conversations with people that I don’t know well. That’s maybe the most stressful social situation for me. I avoid phone calls when at all possible; I don’t think I’m alone here.
What features does your ideal living space have, and why?
I like a lot of natural light because it makes me happy. I would love a lot of cushy sofas with pillows and blankets everywhere. It would also be warm. Maybe if I could get that helicopter pad and elevator from Jack’s treehouse, that would spruce the place up too.
What are your favorite books, movies, and/or TV shows?
I’m into zombie books (World War Z), movies (Shaun of the Dead), and TV (The Walking Dead). I love science fiction, but I’m open to trying most anything. My favorite book that I’ve read recently is The Martian by Andy Weir. It was so exciting! You should read it. I think Battlestar Galactica (the newer version) and Breaking Bad are two of the best TV shows I’ve seen. I love Doctor Who as well; I am always surprised by how much that show affects me. Dr. Strangelove is my favorite movie, but the Lord of the Rings movies come in a close second.
What autistic experiences would you like to see more of, when it comes to storytelling efforts like books, movies, and/or TV shows?
It’s at the point that I grimace when I find out that the book I’m reading or the movie or TV show I’m watching has an autistic character. It’s almost never good. At this point, I don’t even know what I want to see. All I know is that I am not seeing it. I do know that when I asked my son Jack this question, I saw his eyes light up at the thought of autistic characters and I felt sad about what he would see if I showed him current media examples. That should change.
What are some things you’d like the media and other people to stop saying about autistic people?
I would like to see less infantilizing of autistic people from all over the spectrum. I would like to see the media acknowledge that there are challenges to being an autistic person and in raising autistic children without spreading the message that we and our children are tragedies to be fixed. All life is hard. Why is it that autistic life is the kind that is pathologized?
If you could change one thing to make the world more friendly to autistic people, what would it be?
Easy. Accept that all people have intrinsic worth. Understand that no one has to act or communicate a certain way to be worthwhile. Don’t pity us; treat us as the complicated, incredible human beings that we are—just like the rest of humanity.